Know Somebody That Knows Somebody

I was lucky enough to have a full tuition with room and board scholarship in college.  What I didn't have was additional money for books and necessities.  Those necessities being pizza, trips to the mall, etc.  Initially I was given a monthly allowance by my mother because she didn't want me to work while I was in school.  That, coupled with the fact that my student ID could be used as a credit card on campus, allowed me to buy textbooks.  Of course the bill for those charges was sent home and had to be paid before the beginning of the next semester.

Thanksgiving of my sophomore year I reminded my mother that I had a balance and that it needed to be paid before the current semester was over so that I could register for the next one.  My mother announced that she was no longer paying my bill and I'd have to figure it out.  With the knowitallness of a youngster, I figured I could just deal with it when I got back to school.

I had long heard rumors about the infamous Greta Hogan, the financial aid guru, but I'd never had cause to meet her.  I stopped into her office hoping she could point me in the direction of a loan to cover incidentals.  I waited forever only to be told by her that my mother made too much and that I didn't qualify for anything.

Shell shocked, I wandered back to my dorm where I proceeded to tell whomever would listen that I was going to have to go home because I couldn't pay my book bill.  As luck would have it, I ate most of my meals with a bunch of upperclassmen from back home.  They started grilling me with questions.

Upperclassman 1: Did you go to financial aid?
Me: Of course I did. Where else would I go?
Upperclassman 2: Did you see Greta?
Me: Of course I did.
Upperclassman 1: Did you see Dean Jefferies? What about Nate Banks?
Me: Well no.  Y'all only told me about Greta.
Upperclassman 2: You need to go see Dean Jefferies or Nate. If they can't help you, go see Bruce at the Black House. Tell them what's going on, get a sign off from them and then go back to Greta. 
Upperclassman 1: And if none of that works, start crying in front of Greta and tell her you're not leaving until she finds something.

You know what I did, right? I made the rounds, got papers signed AND cried to Greta as I camped out on the floor of her office.  She magically found a loan that covered the current book bill and any futures.  Best of all, I didn't need to submit parental income or signature for approval and it had a really low rate.

I told PoS this story because my younger sister suffered, and still suffers, from an acute case of knowitallness.  When she left home for college fifteen years after me, she didn't bother to make friends with anyone of similar background.  She was too busy chasing the glamorous life, provided by a mother that paid tuition, room and board and incidentals in full.  There was no financial aid because she never filled out the FAFSA form and my mother was unaware of it because I always handled it when I was in college.

By her junior year this chick had changed majors so many times that no one knew what she was majoring in and, thanks to privacy acts, no one had seen her grades.  My mother issued an ultimatum that unless she saw grades, she was cutting her off financially.  Ms. Knowitallness was okay with that until she realized that she had no way to pay for anything, including the dorm room where she slept at night.  She panicked and called me when she realized what her quest for independence had cost her.

Knowitall: I'm going to get kicked out of school and put out of my room. Why is your mama trippin?
Me: Um, what do you want me to do? You were as wrong as two left shoes. Just show her your grades already.
Knowitall: Why? I made them.
Me: Yes, but she pays for them.
Knowitall: Naw, I'll just figure this out myself.
Me: Okay, so what's your plan?
Knowitall:
Me: Well what do your friends say?
Knowitall: About what?
Me: About who you should talk to, like someone in financial aid or a dean.
Knowitall: My friend's parents pay for everything. No one is on financial aid.
Me: Oh, for real? Y'all have it like that?
Knowitall: Well, yeah.
Me: No, your parents have it like that. I suggest you find the financial aid office and throw yourself on the mercy of someone up in there.
Knowitall:
Me: Okay, well call me back tomorrow and let me know how it went.

I hang up with Ms. Knowitall and not five minutes passes before my brother calls.

Clueless Brother: Your sister just called me hysterical talking about she's about to get evicted. I need to give you my credit card number so you can handle this.
Me: Uh no.  Little Drama couldn't get the reaction she wanted from me so she called you. I've already told her what to do.  She's grown, remember?
Clueless Brother: Yeah, but they're going to put her out.
Me: Dude, she just got there. They're not hardly going to put her out. Put your card up and let me handle this.

Within days Ms. Knowitall had secured loans to cover her school costs in full, my mother still never saw a report card and today she is paying those loans off.  In essence, she's paying interest on money she could have paid out of pocket to begin with had Ms. Knowitall not been in such a rush to be an adult.  Both of them could have saved money upfront if they had asked someone about the FAFSA.