The Shop is Closed!

This past weekend I babysat my younger cousin, and by younger I mean she's 8...or 9. I'm not sure how old she is, I just know that she pretty much guaranteed that PoS will be my one and only child.  Before you start on the oh you're so young, you should have more kids crap, let me tell you, it ain't gonna happen.

I'm a firm believer that you get the kid you raise.  If you want a reader, you read a lot.  If you want a jock, you watch and/or play sports and get them involved in sports.  If you want an obnoxious brat...well, you see where I'm going with this.  This child was none of those things I mentioned.  What she was is what a typical 8 year old is, bored all the time.

We're a self-sufficient household.  PoS and I come in after school and work.  I cook, she watches TV.  We eat dinner, she does homework, I watch TV and tweet.  We go to sleep, get back up in the morning and do the same thing.  Our routine only changes on the weekends when I chauffeur her around. Then we come home, cook, eat, watch TV, tweet and sleep.

When I first volunteered to watch this kid, I did it because...I'm not sure why. I must have been in a good and lovely mood.  As the day drew nearer, I started to panic.  This is a kid that ends up in the hospital with asthma at least every other month.  Her mother was completely nonchalant about giving me the info I asked for.  I didn't need the kid's full medical history, but I did want to know what medication she was on; her doctor's name, address, phone, etc.; which hospital she frequented the most, etc. I didn't think I was asking for much.  I mean, this kid was going to be with me from Friday until Monday.

Friday comes, I pick the kid up and right away PoS claims I'm being mean by sending her to the last row of the minivan.  Actually I was thinking about her safety, but whatever.  We got home and she surveyed her surroundings and quickly scurried to the couch which was to become her bed and best friend for the next few days.  Surprisingly, PoS took the time to show her how to work the cable and how to use whatever gaming system she has.  They were chatting it up so well that I decided I'd leave her with PoS while I went to a book event that night.

Ninety minutes later I returned home to find the kid happily playing the game while PoS was sprawled out on the second couch with heavy lids.  She had promised the kid that she'd stay downstairs with her until she fell asleep, but it was apparent that the 9 p.m. bedtime her mother swore by was all a farce. I sent PoS to bed, left a light on for the kid and told her I'd see her in the morning.  Mind you, I didn't send her to bed. It was Friday. I believe in letting kids stay up until they pass out, especially if it means undisturbed silence for me on Saturday morning.

Saturday rolls around and I cook a breakfast fit for a queen.  We eat and she announces that she's bored.  Oh really? Would you like me to tap dance for you, little one?  Ok, I didn't say that, but that's what I was thinking. We headed out for Saturday errands and though a trip to the zoo was on the agenda, her mother sent her with a suitcase full of shorts.  If she had bothered to check the weather, she would have seen that we were expecting highs in the 60s and packed accordingly.  She did not, so the zoo was ruled out.  Instead we came back home and I did what I do after running around all Saturday, I took a nap.

To be fair, I asked before I headed upstairs if she was hungry.  Keep in mind that breakfast was at 9 and it was now 3 p.m.  She told me no.  When I emerged from my slumber 3 1/2 hours later, she was still in the same spot on the couch.  And guess what? She was finally hungry.  Oh, and she was bored.  I guess there wasn't enough on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Boom to keep her occupied.  Well I can't entertain you, but I can certainly feed you.  PoS was nice enough to watch TV with her after dinner, but set a firm bedtime of 9 and the kid adhered to it.

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday except we didn't leave the house.  You know what I do on Sundays? I watch football.  PoS does homework.  This kid whined about being bored from the time she woke up until she went to bed.  My Mommy Block was in full effect and I tuned her out.  If you don't know what Mommy Block is, it's something you develop when you have kids.  It allows you to tune them out just enough so you can focus on what you really want to be doing, while tuning in just enough to nod and respond at the appropriate times.  I've had seventeen years to fine tune mine, did this kid really think she was going to break me down? I think not.



I won't tell you how loudly my tires screeched as I pulled out of the school parking lot.  People that have kids years apart, I applaud you.  Actually I don't. I wonder what in the heck you were thinking.  There is no way that I would start over from scratch and do this again.  The shop is closed!